I am Alicia. What made me seek sobriety? I got put in jail. I lost custody of my kids for the second time and was in the most miserable state of mind. From the time I was 16, I was doing drugs and not finding gratitude in my life or in my children. I just let my life pass me by and didn’t take advantage of how much love and life that my family and my kids have to offer me.
I had to get out of my element and come to a place that is unknown to me, Portsmouth, and just start from the bottom. I lost everything – my job, cars, possessions. I used to have a nursing career. I took that for granted. I was at the lowest point in my life and just needing to get back up on my feet. So, I came down here and did in-patient. Mahajan Therapeutics helped me to get a job, get back on my feet, and get stable enough so I can attempt to get out into the community. In-patient really changed my life. I’m in sober-living now. I do classes. It all helps! I’m able to see my children now. I have sober support that’s just like my family. I wouldn’t change this for anything.
This is the first time, since I was young, that I have lived so much in the unknown, but the fact that I am sober and putting one foot in front of the other is taking me forward each day – sometimes it’s minute by minute. If I wasn’t at my lowest point, I never would have been able to bring myself to treatment. I wasn’t court-ordered, but it was something I knew in my heart that I needed to for my kids, for my family, for myself just to stay alive. We’re never promised tomorrow.
The best advice I can give someone who is needing to reach out is to realize you are not alone. We all fall. It’s all about how you dust yourself off and get back up. It’s never the end until you reach that breaking point. You’ve got to be willing to get back up and willing to admit that you were wrong and that you need help. There are quotes I used to live by, “This too shall pass.” and “You’ve got to be uncomfortable to grow.”
With the holidays coming up, it’s hard to go through. You will face triggers. I face triggers every year at the holidays, but the best present is family. Just being sober and being there to witness them opening presents and not being slumped over and looking horrible in pictures. Instead of forgetting the moment, I’m there for the moment. I get to see my kids’ faces light up. It’s a new journey.